Thoughts on the Train

I’m currently on the Amtrak from San Diego to Los Angeles. Sitting down for three hours really gets you thinking…


I don’t want to sound whiny and sour. I am so happy, so extremely blessed and so thankful for my life. I guess a lot of the time I am inspired to write in order to deal with the weird stuff that is going on in my life. It helps to write about the things that really tug at my heartstrings that make me joyous, upset, and confused. So what are those?

Right now I am feeling confused and conflicted. Since moving back down to school this past Sunday I have been going through a miniature identity crisis. I left San Diego in the beginning of May not confident in who I was and anxious of my future. Throughout the summer I began to find comfort and peace in who I am and embrace life and my future. It was like I had been holding my breath for so long and then finally just let myself let go and breathe, let myself stop worrying so much and start living. What an amazing and freeing feeling.

Fast-forward three months and summer is over, school has started and I have moved back to San Diego. It’s one semester before graduation and I am so completely excited for my future, the problem is that I just can’t seem to get excited about the present. Have you ever felt like a square block trying to fit into a circle opening? I can’t help but feel like that right now. Like something has changed in me and not in anything else. As if I left that breath of fresh air in Los Angeles when I left home.
How do you hold onto who you are no matter where you are?

My dream is to embrace each day and be thankful, wake up with a smile and find my purpose in every day. Wonderful concept but how do I put it into action?

Conundrum…